I never wanted friends like the ones from F.R.I.E.N.D.S

If you listen closely, you can hear the angry mob coming and if you look closely, you can also see their torches and pitchforks.

Before I delve into the topic, let me get this out of the way: I liked the show FRIENDS. I think I’ve seen the entire series at least 4 times thanks to the endless reruns. And I still watch it if I have nothing better to do and it’s on TV. And even though it’s one of the more longer running sitcoms out there, it managed to stay pretty good until the end.

That being said, one topic of conversation I’ve seen in some online discussions is people saying they wished they had friends like the ones in the show. And I actually never got this, for a number of reasons, which I shall now list:

1. Too much drama in their lives

Seriously, at times it seems all they do is gossip and complain about their love lives. And they seem to be going through lovers like socks, especially in the earlier seasons. From Monica’s rant about “why wont’t I be married when I’m 40”, to the whole “we were on a break”, to other moments such as Ross’s reaction to seeing Joey and Rachel kiss, Joey’s reaction to Chandler kissing Kathy or whatever her name was (granted, he did go behind his back), Monica freaking out over Chandler sharing an office with that Wendy girl…you see where I’m getting at? I can barely handle social media meltdowns which happen only every 2 or 3 months. To be surrounded by such levels of drama on a daily basis would be unbearable.

2. They spend WAY too much time together

I don’t have a lot of friends. To that extent I sympathize with the characters, since being selective of your company is actually a good thing. That being said, aside from talking on Facebook with them every now and then, I also try to maintain a healthy amount of time spent in my own company. These guys spend un awful amount of time together. And I sometimes wonder how they can handle it. It seems a bit unnatural to be able to spend that much time with the same group of people without it leading to arguments, fights or pure boredom.

3. They are, save for maybe 2 of them, annoying to be around with

Drama aside, these people, or most of them anyway, would be a pain to hang out with. For example, Monica’s constant obsession with winning all the time would normally make non-competitive people (which aside from MAYBE Ross, all of them are) actively avoid here. Hell, Marshall Goldsmith has a list of 20 defects which cause you to fail to advance in your life. Take a wild guess as to what is the very FIRST one. The need to win in every single situation in life is the answer to that riddle.

Moving on to Chandler, his jokes are funny, but at times you just need to shut up, otherwise you end up seeming like a rude person, which, to be honest, he is at times. He can’t seem to have a conversation without poking fun at the person he’s talking to. That being said, he would be on the list of people I’d like to hang out with from the cast.

Monica and Phoebe are kind of meh. I mean they’re not all bad, but they’re not all good either. Monica is actually a pretty decent person when she’s not obsessed with winning. That doesn’t happen a lot though, but when it does, she does seem to be a nice person. Phoebe is more of the same, only instead of winning, I find her constant need to shove her beliefs down one’s throat a bit tiring. Guess it’s about luck when you’d meed either of them. Thouugh Monica’s winning obsession, as I’ve mentioned before, might be one of the most annoying character flaws a person could have.

Ross is possibly one of the most arrogant fictional or real characters I’ve ever seen. That being said though, he does have a PhD, which is NOT an easy feat, even though he gets mocked by his friends for it. While his arrogance renders him very puncheable in the face at times, I’d much rather spend my time with him, mostly because in some ways I am a geek myself.

And finally, we have Joey and Rachel. Out of the main cast, these are quite possibly the worst beings to be around with, for a variety of reasons. If you’re a guy, then standing anywhere near Joey while in a bar would almost guarantee that he’d walk away with the girl while you’d just drown yourself in drinks out of sorrow. Plus, there are his insecurities. For all his alpha male-ness, he’s surprisingly scared of anything that would embarass him too much (the scene with the eyebrows comes to mind). As for Rachel, if you ask a guy “hey, wanna date a selfish spoiled brat who constantly needs to be the center of attention and starts crying like a baby every time things don’t go her way and will actively try to ruin you with mixed signals because she can’t bloody decide if she wants you or not?”, more often than not the answer would be no.

And there it is, more or less sound reasoning why I try to avoid being around people who model their lives after fictional characters.


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